As I reflect on 30-

Here are 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years:

1. Good friends are hard to come by- be good to the ones you have.
2. There really is something to be said about being honest- and kind, even when people don’t deserve it.
3. Acne never really goes away- and your pores actually get bigger.
4. Don’t waste your time (life) doing something you don’t enjoy- find something you love and figure out how to make money doing it.
5. Hustling doesn’t only mean you’re trying to get one over on people- it also can define your work ethic. It means you’re working your ass off to get somewhere you otherwise may have never gotten.
6. If you have time to judge others- you got too much time-give me some.
7. Your parents really didn’t know what the hell they were doing- they were totally winging it- just like we do now.
8. Education is important- it’s not the actual learning, but the experience that shapes you- I highly recommend going to college or at the least a trade school.
9. Not everyone wants to hear your conversation- so get off your phone at the check out counter, on the elevator, plane…etc.
10. Know when it’s your turn to talk- and when to give someone else a chance to speak- it’s NOT all about you- (this one has taken me the full 30 years, and I’m still working on it)
11. When someone is an A-hole, let them be one- don’t be one back, it makes you just as ugly.
12. Have compassion for people who wrong you- so they cut you off at the light, they didn’t put their turning signal on- tell me that you’ve NEVER done it. You never know how someone’s day is going. Maybe someone is dying who is close to them, maybe they were told they are worthless, maybe his wife is having a baby- you don’t know- so don’t assume people don’t make mistakes- and forgive them when they do.
13. Treat others how you want to be treated BUT do not- I repeat- do not expect others to treat you the same. You will always get let down.
14. Buy the quality stuff the first time around-ditch the cheap crap. It’s just going to fall apart, break you out …etc.… this is especially true for makeup, hotel rooms, food products, shoes. I have booked us in the worst roach motel I have ever seen (via online booking trying to save money at Disney- No we didn’t actually stay there), bought the cheap pair of heeled boots only to have the heel break off mid-presentation in my MBA class). Quality=time=value=savings.
15. Sometimes holding up the line for a $3 mismarked item at the grocery is NOT worth the $3 it takes holding up the line. Paying $3 more for a mistake you are capitalizing on- is worth NOT making other people wait for you. Chalk it up as a loss and move on. Everything balances out in the end. Something good will come back to you.
16. Experiences are worth more than “stuff”. I’d rather enjoy a 5-star dinner with my hubby than a new pair of gym shoes. All I need them for is comfort. I don’t need a swoosh anymore.
17. Being a mom is not easy- it’s the hardest but most rewarding thing I have ever done. It’s a constant emotional manipulation that is played out like a soap opera but without the world watching. Sometimes I wish it were watching- maybe I would act better if I thought people could see me. Onto my next point…
18. How we treat our children is WHO they will become. We have the power to make, shape, and tear-apart the humans they are destined to be. We have the power to change who they were born to be- for the good or bad. Which will you choose?
19. Stuff can be replaced. Memories and moments cannot.
20. We are all on this planet together- at this moment in time- I do not believe it is by chance. Take every opportunity to leave it and one another better than you found it.
21. You’ll never get everything right, but kindness is a good place to start.
22. Giving is way better than receiving- especially to those who are in need.
23. There are people who are where they’re at by choice, but there are also people who have never had a choice- give them one. Give others a chance to improve, grow, and advance.
24. Good grown men are not hard to come by- they are the ones who call you back, text you, want to see you, listen when you talk, say nice things to you. The ones who don’t call you back, tell you mean things, try to control you, won’t help with the chores- they’re not grown (sometimes this process can take FOREVER with guys {and girls alike}). Bad boys are just that- they’re bad. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change. You are better than that.
25. Girls and Guys cannot be friends- let me be clear…. girls can be friends with guys, but guys can never just be friends with a girl. He will always want something more- or he will wait for you to make a move.at …some…point. So-respect your man- because he knows how other guys think. Have couples for friends, but solo dudes- No Go!
26. Everyday is a new day to be better, and act better than you did yesterday! Hope is a glorious gift- don’t ever take it for granted. There is a place without hope, and I don’t ever wish anyone there. It wasn’t made for us. So, I thank God everyday for the Hope that each new day brings. It’s like a Do-Over. Sometimes- I just have to give up on the day- go to bed- and start over tomorrow. That’s OK. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
27. Don’t ever say “I Can’t”. Don’t sell yourself short- even if others have. You CAN.
28. There aren’t many people who are really more intelligent than other people- certain people have just spent MORE time learning. That doesn’t make their natural IQ any higher- it just means they’ve spent more time focused on a particular subject. This now worries me about doctors- they’re just normal people- yikes!
29. You don’t know what you don’t know until you know it……so realize you don’t know everything. Listen to what others have to say and contribute.
30. Finally, Go to bed early. I still need to figure the whole early bird gets the worm thing because I’m like the slothy squirrel searching for a nut in the morning. #30fail #stillworkingonthisone #30givemewisdom

I have been blessed beyond compare in my life. I was adopted at birth, had a rough upbringing, dropped out of junior high, got in trouble as a teen, had a baby by 16, got on food stamps,  got my GED by 17, started college, worked 2 jobs, met the man of my dreams in church, got married at 22, had 2 more babies, gained a lot of weight, went back to school, lost a lot of weight, landed a dream corporate job making lots $$, struggled in marriage, graduated college, went back for more college, left the corporate job with lots $$, strengthened marriage, started my own company, opened a store with my husband, getting ready to graduate again with my MBA, just surpassed 6 months in our new store- and we’re still paying the bills!

This is my story- what will yours be?

NONE of this was without GOD. ALL of it was divinely orchestrated- I’m just a long for the ride.

The first 30 years have been wild, amazing, sad, happy, joyful, heartbreaking, breathtaking, and so much more. I can’t even fathom the next 30.

Don’t let other people’s choices become your failures. Make your own choices you can be proud of- even if they’re just between you and God. <3 <3 Blessings and Peace Ya’ll.